For work I had to travel to a far away land... Virgina... to help open a new line of business for our company. Two and a half months I spent eating at restaurants and sleeping in a strange hotel room.
I was the only one from my town going and I was to meet up with a bunch of strangers that also worked for my company, but from different parts of the U.S. and Canada. I thought I was going to be hideously lonely the whole time. **woah is me**
But when I got there, I met the most wonderful people! One of them was Jessica. She is from Saskatchewan, Canada. I could write a whole blog on just how wonderful she is!
Anyway, we passed the time in good ol Lynchburg, VA, by roaming the town looking for shit to do. And, even though I am a butch lesbo, I am still female and when 2 females get together, they tend to GAB. Jess and I knew how to gab.
One particular boring day, we jumped in the rental car and headed for the mall (I AM female, but I HATE the mall oh what we do for our friends tee hee hee). Well, you know how most mall parking lots are... big ass mazes with no sense of direction right? The mall in Lynchburg was no different. I was driving, and we were gabbing, and I was looking for a certain side of the mall to park, and I was gabbing, and driving you get the picture.
Basically, I wasnt paying any fucking attention to where the hell I was going and then out of nowhere
SCREEEETTTTCCCHHHHH I slam on brakes and came literally centimeters from hitting a little blue haired old lady. JESUS CHRIST! I fling open my car door to make sure she is okay and didnt have a freakin stroke right there in the damn parking lot.
ME... Oh God Maam I am sooo sorry, are you okay?
HER... (in a reaaaally high pitched freaked out old lady voice) You Gawddamned fooool!
ME... I am so sorry maam, are you okay? I didnt even see you!
HER... (same voice) You people from OOOOHHIIIIOOOO
ME... Maam I am not from Ohio (thinking to myself what a dumb fucking response)
HER... ***Slams cardoor and speeds off***
ME... Jess are you okay?
JESS... Yes
US... HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
Now, you have to understand, the rental car that we were driving had Ohio plates. I am sure that is the reason the blue hair got confused. We about peed ourselves laughing and to this day, when Jess and I talk no matter how bad we are feeling, all we have to do is say "You Goddamned fool" and we crack the hell up!
This blogs for you Jess!
~peace
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