Is there a 12 Step program for dogs....

January 23, 2006 - Is there a 12 Step program for dogs....

Andy (our Springer Spaniel stupid ass dog) has taken on an uncanny/un-natural fetish of a 6 inch by 3 inch stuffed blue bear. Now I am sure a dogs life is anything but interesting, so having something that makes his life a little interesting is not necessarily a bad thing, but THIS has gone too far! Let me give you a glimpse into what I am talking about, a mental picture so to speak:

We leave the dogs outside while we are at work. When we come home, we usually find some place to dump the amazing amounts of crap that we haul to and from work on a daily basis. Then it is time to let the "kids" in… we have 3 dogs, so it is usually a herd of happiness when they come through the door.

Andy will usually give us about 2.2 seconds of his precious puppy time before he is on the prowl for "blue bear". He runs through the rooms of the house to locate his prize possession, which is usually, just a little less than light speed. Robin and I usually settle in to our chairs to watch Dr. Phil, and before we are even all the way comfortable, Andy has chosen his human victim to play his version of fetch with. If we don’t automatically start to play, Andy will tactically position blue bear on the chair beside us, place his snout on top and look up at us with those big brown, sad, puppy dog eyes.

After 1 million tosses, I have had my fill and start in trying to get the simple, tiny word NO, to sink into his head. He will eventually get the picture and you can almost hear the painful sigh as he lays down on the floor with his head rested gently on top of bear.

That’s all you ask? Oh how I wish that was all… I have witnessed on more than one occasion, my stupid dog, lying upon his back… trying with all his might to balance, (since his tail is wagging a hundred miles an hour) with blue bear rested between his almost human like paws. He will bring the bear very close to his mouth and snap at it and then pull the bear back into the air to tease himself. Pretty amazing and funny as hell!!

1… We admitted we were powerless over blue bear and our lives had become unmanageble.

2… …

I am sure there is help out there somewhere, but until then, we will continue the daily ritual and laugh our asses off.